a happy little life: June 2011

Random Q and A and some extra stuff. Part 2.

main Q&A page

It's random Q and A time round 2!

Do I have medical insurance here?

(yes. we have Universal Health Care like many European countries do)

Have I been to the doctor here?

(yes)

Does my doctor speak English?

(no. she speaks fluent Finnish and German. Mr C is the interpreter. I need to get a new doctor)

my local Apteekki (Finnish) Apotek (Swedish) Pharmacy (English)

Do all the men carry those European man purses?

(they are popular but I see both men and women with back packs more than purses)

(Mr C doesn't carry either. I carry a purse... a woman purse)

Can I vote here?

(no. we are American citizens so we have no voting rights here)

Does Finland have royalty?

(no, there is a parliament . there was a woman president; Tarja Halonen)

Is Mr C also a vegetarian?

(he eats meat on occasion but 99.9% of his meals are vegetarian.
he says he doesn't miss the meat in what I cook for us)

Do all Finn's have natural blond hair and blue eyes?

(no.)

Have I ever ate at the McDonalds here?
(yes once. fries. they were the same)

and now
Continuing the everyday stuff
(hopefully still not boring you)
This one's a little gritty!

Transportation

Getting from here to there.

We do own one car however, as I wrote this,
it's not here so

during my alone in the city time this month
I have 2 options

walk

use public transportation.

I am not alone for sure!
MANY people do not even own a car here
or
even have a drivers license.
I am impressed at the ease you can get around using the system.
It takes a little practice
thankfully there's
an option in English so I can plan my route on the internet before I leave home!

glam shots (snort) of Helsinki public transit


Pukinmäki metro station nothing glam going on here

no glamour in the stairwell going to the train either


or at the bus stop in Itäkeskus... well maybe a little glamour hahaha. I'm seriously tired waiting for the bus after hours of shopping. my feet are killing me. my options are to stand outside in the melting sun or sit in the glass enclosure with no breeze with cigarette smoke. I just don't get that! I really don't! face reflecting my irritation? yes, I think so. ps my hair was looking super cute when i started the day, melty flat and sad at this point... just say'n.

I have experienced all the modes of public transportation here.

I have to say that I have found all the
trains, trolly trams, buses, boats and taxis
to be very clean

on the inside

the outside stops such as
the Metro stations, bus stops
are another thing.

I am always dissapointed how dirty they are
well actually they aren't
it's the people who don't respect the public area.

I was warned early on to avoid 'puddles' and streams of 'water' coming from walls and corners.

I'm sure I will give a good rant on the subject of
spitting, dog poop, cigarette butts
and
rampant public urination
at some point....
can you hardly wait!!!!

a week of keeping it simple.

Took care of me.

Ran.

Blogged.
Drank coffee.
Listened to the rain.

Took pictures.
Ate popcorn (for dinner)

Listened to quiet music.
Remembered.
Laughed.
Cried.
Prayed.
Sang.
Colored my hair.

Bubble bath with candles.

Big salads.

Danced wildly to good music.
Said I love you.
Smiled.
Sat in the sun.

Smothered myself in sugar scrub from chin to toes.

Drank 1 beer.
Stayed up late.
Got up early.

Ate 1 apple every day.
Slept with music playing.
Shaved my legs.
Walked along the river.
Thought a lot about my Mom.
Washed bed pillows.

Ice cream (for dinner).

Six Feet Under TV marathon.
Walked to the market.

Filled my prescription at the apteekki.
Wrote emails to my family.

Painted my toenails.

Picked a bucket of flowers.
Naps.
Wore Mr. C's sweater.
Never used the blow dryer.

Wore my naturally wild curly hair, wild and curly, naturally.

au naturale

making friends with ourselves and others

When I was very young I was a shy sensitive girl.

I still am in many ways.

I was painfully shy through mid-5th grade.
I had a few play friends but

I was no Miss Petunia Popular!

My mother would urge my sister and I to make new friends and break out of our shells.
She wanted us to have fun and not stay locked away.

I didn't know until I was an adult that she secretly struggled with shyness her whole life.
She struggled with a lot of things.

Through my teens I blossomed with
my own brand of

humor, silliness, and entertainment value.

I had loads of school friends and a full social life.

such a nice group of school friends!

No one EVER thought I was shy.

My girls seemed like they were always on the go.

As they entered their teen years, my nest emptied quickly.

Naturally I wanted them to always

have friends

and not miss out on anything they really wanted to go do.

my party girls! they love to dance!

One day it occurred to me that I had been eating all my meals alone all week....

gasssssssp... it had been going on for some time!
My baby birds were flying away.

It just kind of snuck up on me.

Once they started to leave the nest they were
only landing long enough to

change clothes, eat, sleep and fight with each other!

For many years my work life was basically my social life.
I worked (mostly) with fun people and the days went by quick.

When I was home. I was on my own. I was alone.
When we spend time alone we learn a lot about ourselves.
We find out what we can do under our own steam.
We learn to rely on ourselves.

I had mentioned to a friend from home that
I would be staying by myself in the city as
Mr. C and the fly fishing guys are off
to the Arctic Circle for 22 days.

2010 arctic circle fishing trip

She said she wasn't worried about me because I'm

'a woman who is comfortable in her own company'

I snorted out loud at first because it sounded so grown up!

Was she speaking of ME?!

I remember when being in my own company was not so comfortable.

I've decided it was a compliment.
I've come a long way.

After all, how can other's really be comfortable with us
if we are not comfortable being with just ourselves?

in my own company

After 1 year of settling into this new life it's time to make some new friends here
not just casual acquaintances.
I have been feeling some shyness creep back in again.
I have been feeling like the new girl at school.

I mentioned in an earlier post I was missing my friendships from home.

While I am viewed as a woman comfortable with her own company...

(a little snort)

a little alone time is okay, but there is just
NOTHING
like being in the company of women friends!

Q and A and some extra stuff. Part 1.

Q&A main page

Who doesn't love a little random

Q and A!

Is the drinking water safe?

(yes and it's delightful)

Do I have to eat pickled fish and moose meat now?

(I'm a vegetarian so, NO!)

Do I live on potatoes and beets?

(like both, but no, not living on them)

Is there lettuce there?

(yes, lots of fresh lovely produce, some grown here a lot from Spain)

Does everyone have a sauna and is everyone really naked in there?

(seems almost everyone has access to one and... yes, yes they are)

Do I like salmiakki?

(only in vodka! not in candy. not in icecream)

Do they really serve beer and wine in the Ikea there?

(yes, they really do!)

Are you still an American?

(ALWAYS!)

How long is the flight?

(from Detroit, 13 hours on a good flight, 22+ hours on a bad one)

Do I speak Finnish?

(not if I don't have to! I cannot roll my R's. my vocabulary gets bigger and better everyday.

my goal is to learn 3 new words everyday.

(I understand more than I let on. wink wink)

Do I drive and on what side of the road?

(yes I do and it's the same as home)

Do I like it here?

(yes. mostly)

Do we celebrate Thanksgiving still?

(in our house we celebrate all American holidays)

What is the time difference?

(7 hours ahead of Eastern Standard Time)

Are you homesick?

(some days are better than others)

I thought I'd do a little series on some of the everyday

(hopefully not too boring)

things and see where it takes us.

Where we live.

Wikipedia tells me...

there is approx 5 million people living in Finland

the majority of the country's population lives in the Helsinki city region

(that's where we live)

1.3 million city dwellers

source photo

people do live in single dwelling homes but

Helsinki living is pretty much done in multi level apartment buildings

the choices of apartment building styles really vary

Historic to Ultra Modern to Green Living.

the real estate market is ~~pricey~~ expensive here

there is really not a lot that comes up for sale

a lot of people rent

after a lot of talk we decided on buying a house (apartment) in Helsinki...

I was in Michigan. Mr. C was in Helsinki during the process

scary buying a home I only could see from the internet

two big factors to be agreed upon:

where to live and budget

we talked every single night over the phone for hours about houses

source photo

the process took about 4 months

close to the train

close to his office

close to the river that leads to the sea

a beautiful view of a huge city park

first floor balcony with the flowers is home.

home.sweet.home.

koti.ihana.koti.

annnnnnd she creates again...

In the Spring of 7th grade we filled out our
class "choices"
for 8th grade
it was basically
'Drafting' or 'Home Economics'

I had always been the arsty one

I wanted to draw so drafting class was for ME!

Home Ec sounded boring it sounded more like a math class than an art class... I'm guessing it's all the name... Hello ECONOMICS sounds like a math class and I hate math. Borrrrrring!

One other little catch they didn't mention that drafting was
absolutely
NOT
a class choice for the girls

Excuse me... they said choose

Can you even believe it?!

On my first day of 8th grade I showed up to drafting class

I was the only girl

NO GIRLS ALLOWED!
WHAT!

I was firmly informed by the drafting teacher that my schedule was incorrect
and I needed to go to the school office to straighten it out

I tried to explain that there was a choice

I was told the same thing at the office and given a hall pass to go directly to the Home Ec. room

Why was no one listening!

This was in 1979 for crying out loud why couldn't I go to drafting class!

I was SURE my Mom would fix this injustice!

I presented how my first day of 8th grade went down

She listened. And then she sighed.

My Mother was too tired to put up a fight and said quite calmly...

'just take Home Ec. you need to learn to sew and cook'

I couldn't believe my ears!!!!

I was not happy

I played my Women's Lib card on her
(remember the 70's and Women's Lib... I DO!)

As usual the only thing I managed to do was challenge her patience.

It wasn't pretty and all in one breath
she snapped back with

"I work in a filthy dirty factory doing a job that no women should ever do.

I hate that factory and I hate my job. I never want you to work where I do or put up with the (blank-it-ty-blank-blank) I put up with. Learn to sew. Learn to cook. Women's Lib isn't as glamorous as you think it is!"

Annnnnnnnnnnnnd
that was the end of that conversation
FOREVER

So I went to Home Ec and learned the basics of sewing
Begrudgenly
I sewed an apron

It was yellow calico fabric from the TG&Y
I got an A! I added 2 pockets
I got extra credit

I quickly discovered how
very artful and creative
a little fabric could be made into something
useful, necessary, practical, beautiful

When I was 20, my first child was coming into the world
I had absolutely no money for a baby layette and I did not have a sewing machine
I literally, sewed by hand the gown and little bonnet she wore home from the hospital

After my daugher was born
I was gifted an old sewing machine that stitched a wardrobe
for the two of us
I was grateful beyond imagination for that machine and of course
Home Ec. class!

By my next birthday that year I was gifted a new Singer from my Mom.

That sewing machine had a hard life for many years
six years later I had a second daughter

Over the years I mended holes, fixed zippers, hems went up and down
I made many many dresses for all us girls (and their doll babies)
halloween costumes, dance costumes, lots of housewares, aprons, little purses and gifts
I learned the art of slip covers and upholstery when new furniture wasn't in the budget

my sewing machine was never put away

I had been selling my art work for many years through different venues
and eventually opened
an upscale boutique
all of my own

I love the motto from Life is Good...

'Do what you like. Like what you do'

And I sure did!!!!

Through the years I met so many wonderful women
that really touched me

and affected who I am today

through the business I was able to travel and experience a world

very different than I ever imagined for myself

and time marched on as I was tending shop and raising my girls

my girls and me at church. a happy day 2009

Ten years seemed to pass in a blink

my personal life changed
my work life changed

I caught my breath
and
entered back into the work force for a big corporation

at work

And that brings me to current life...

as I settled into my first year in Finland
I began daydreaming about creatingI
began to paint again with watercolor to get back in my groove

modern dreamy watercolor flowers.

a birthday gift for my sister's new bedroom.

and then I stretched some canvas
and got out
the oils AND the acrylics
and started painting something
wayyyyy out of my comfort zone

a mix of super high gloss black and matte colors.
modern retro funky flowers on canvas greets you at the door
this is a BIG tall and skinny custom made canvas.
the black is so glossy it's like a mirror
I never imagined painting something so bold and modern
the pop of colors ties all the rooms together and sets the mood for a home that is alive!
*shelf and lamp (Ikea) little black crow on lamp (followed me from Michigan)

My heart was really singing!

On my 45th birthday I was gifted a new sewing machine
this time from my Husband
starting over again with the basics
I started right where I first began
with an apron
and sewing felt
magical again

and I sewed a warm bucket hat.
The winters are cold here.
everyone wears hats and I was sick sick sick of dreary black knit caps!
ps. i don't have a stitch of make up on... that makes me laugh.
I would have never let this picture out 1 year ago!

running again

I was feeling sooooooo yucky this past Winter. I was feeling yucky inside and out. Despite all the walking and hiking (we) and yoga (I) and the oatmeal overload we ate all Winter I just wasn't feeling good on the inside and on the outside... I was dreading the stack of Spring clothes that I knew were not going to feel good.
I had my eye on my goal jeans and the 10 pounds that I knew I wanted to loss but I was feeling like I was just spinning my wheels getting nowhere fast in pretty much every part of my life.
I just couldn't focus.

I was moving. I knew that was the first step. Oh how I struggled with getting outside and walking in that cold messiness of the city.
I was trying to watch what I was eating and when and how I was feeling about food... and trying to break up with sugar again once and for all!

Mr. C knows when I'm feeling out of sorts. He thinks I'm homesick when I get that far away quietness.
And for me it's easier to just agree and say that is what's going on.
'Homesickness' is a great word I can hide behind, it is less messy than what was really going on in the last few months and at the time I don't know if I could really find all the words to help him understand why my end of our happy little life wasn't feeling so happy....

What was really going on....
I was missing familiar surroundings.
I was feeling very socially isolated.
I was feeling like I didn't belong here.
I was missing my friendships from home.
I lost my confidence.
I was hate-hate-hating my hair (lol).
I was struggling with my Finnish language skills (that is an understatement of epic proportions!!!!).
I was feeling sad, lonely, depressed, annoyed, antsy-pantsy, sensitive, melancholy, scared, frustrated, disappointed (and faaaaaat).
I have been in the process of starting a business. I've been stuck at a cross road with the direction to go in.
I was having some serious ongoing conflicts and communication issues with my adult daughters that are there.... and some struggles that come with being a new step-Mom to 3 teenage sons here.
I just felt undone.
I was crying a lot secretly.
I was feeling like I just wanted to pull the covers over my head and have a pity party and sleep or eat a gallon of Chunky Monkey.
I was in a good old fashion twisty funk that I just couldn't seem to pull myself out of no matter what.

And then of the middle of my twisty funk...
This Spring... my Dad had a stroke.

I sat at the table and read my email and cried. I cried hard. Really hard.
My first reaction was that I needed to go home, I wanted to see my Dad.
RIGHT NOW.

My Dad worked for General Motors his whole life and retired with 40 years of service.
My Dad never complained about his work and he never complained about GM.
Ever.
I always admired that about him.

When I was a little girl he worked on the railroad for Buick in Flint, MI.
One evening I remember picking up the other phone line thinking my Grandma (we called her Hama) was calling like she did every evening.
It wasn't my Hama.
On the other phone line it was the hospital telling my Mother that my Dad had been in an accident at work.
I didn't know at that time what happened, but an accident when your Dad works on a train was completely terrifying I knew that much being so young.
I was around 8 then and my heart dropped to my toes and all I could think was that my Dad had died.
He didn't die.
My Dad had fell off the train and broke his arm.... way better than my first thought! But I was still physically ill from the news.
I think that was the first time I had felt the 'adult' type emotions of devastation and then followed by true deep empathy for another person. I was so scared for him and I'm sure I didn't even understand what a broken arm really was.
I'm betting he was probably scared too, after all he was all alone and only a young man in his mid-20's!
(My parents were very young parents)

Me as an all grown up woman almost 40 years later reading the news of the stroke I had that same reaction and I felt like I did when I was 8.
My heart fell to my toes. It felt like the world crashed down.
This time my world was literally on the other side of his world and I felt helpless.

2009 my Dad and me....
I'm happy to have this picture even though it's so pixilated!

I pulled myself together and read the email over like 5 more times. I got up and put on my running shoes and my Ipod and out the door I went because I just didn't know what else to do...
annnnnd I ran.... well actually I just walked reallllllllllllllllly fast for the first few miles.
My brain did one thing, my legs did something else until they were doing the same thing. Then without really thinking about it I was running....
I don't remember a whole lot about that first real run, but I'm pretty sure the little girl inside me was running to my Dad.

lets try this again...

In a few days I celebrate my 1 year anniversary living in Helsinki. I thought blogging about my first year here might be interesting, but I have to say.... I was just living life and getting adjusted to this new world and not taking much time to write about it... life happens!